Satire: Today we bring you the story of Hunter Perve, pornographic film director who successfully got his films introduced as required content in schools after labeling them “LGBTQ.”
“It was while I was attending a Pride parade with my partner, drag queen Gertie the Groomer, that I had the brilliant idea,” Perve tells us. “What with Hunter Biden’s laptop, Disney+ drag queen shows, and OnlyFans, it’s been tough in the porn movie business. There’s so much out there for free already! But there I was at the Pride Parade, and Gertie was dancing in his cute thong for a baby, and I suddenly thought—of course! I can market my high-quality porn content to schools as educational videos if only I label them LGBTQ!”
Perve’s delightful, totally family-friendly movies include “LGB-E.T.,” “The Drag Queen and I,” “It’s a Wonderful Pride Parade,” “Going My Gay Way,” “Phantom of the Orgy,” “SuperTransman,” “Snow White and Zir Seven Pronouns,” “Romeo and Romeo,” and “Star Trek: The Next Gender Transition.” They are available through Groomers Inc. or at your local elementary school.
“My completely age-appropriate porn—I mean, pro-LGBTQ movies are now required for kids as young as kindergarten in ten states, most especially across California and New York,” Perve announced excitedly. “We hope to spread our wonderfully gender-affirming films to all 50 states.”
One mother of a seven-year-old shown “The Drag Queen and I” in class, Lily Cross, protested to her school board that the movie was really just homosexual porn meant to groom children. As of publication, Mrs. Cross’s son had been seized by Child Protective Services and forcibly transitioned to a girl, while Mrs. Cross had been labeled a dangerous “domestic terrorist” by the FBI and locked up in the underground vault with the Jan. 6 prisoners and the transgender shooter’s manifesto.
This is the kind of humor that raises sweat on the brow along with a smile on the face....a little too close to plausibility..... Well done!
May be satire but.... sure sounds perfectly plausible in the current godless and rapidly deteriorating primary school environment.