SATIRE: CCP Reveals Biden Is April Fools’ Joke on America
April Fools’ Day, 2023, Some Place that Will Soon Be China - The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) revealed today that “President” Joe Biden is actually just an over-extended April Fools’ joke from the CCP.
“We spring this Joe Biden as April Fools’ joke, then somehow Americans pretend he serious candidate, then they cheat him into White House. So we think—why mess with good thing?” announced Chinese dictator and lovable yellow bear Xi Jinping. “Haha! This good joke on America! Also good way to make America China, as it used to be according to our map we find that is definitely ancient Chinese map and not drawn by daughter Mingze. Haha! Why you no laughing, America?” The dictator then hung up the broadcasted call to go eat some delicious hunny and wipe out yet another ethnic minority, which his aides describe as his two favorite pastimes.
Joe Biden released a statement in response. “America is a patch on the world’s jeans that were created by—you know—the Thing before I defeated Corn Pop,” said the “president,” swaying back and forth and staring off into the distance with totally black eyes. “China is a lying dog-faced pony soldier. Ice Cream. Shlimigufabub.”
One person who did laugh hysterically when told Biden was an April Fools’ joke was Vice President Kamala Harris. “HAHAHA!” laughed the VP, throwing copies of the Communist Manifesto and Heather Has Two Mommies at an aide. “HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!” Aides did note, however, that VP Harris also laughs at horrible economic news, nuclear bombs, and the death of small poodles, so her laughter might not, in fact, have been because the CCP’s jest was highly entertaining.