Satire: Biden Surprised to Learn He Dropped Out of 2024 Race
Satire: Joe Biden was quite stunned Sunday to find out that Joe Biden had dropped out of the presidential race.
“What are you talking about, Jack?” Biden addressed a bust of Jimmy Carter. “I am going to win a third term. I was promised by that doctor with the shrill voice—you know, you know, Jill. I will challenge anyone to a push-up contest! Orange man bad! Scrillmiflpuvfizzle!”
Biden was lured into taking a looong outing on his favorite holiday, National Ice Cream Day, only to return and discover a huddled group of men in the Oval Office posting something on Biden’s Twitter while the Wicked Witch of the White House cackled in a corner. “We have unburdened ourselves of what has been!” tittered the witch, putting a “Kamala Harris” name plaque on the presidential desk. “We will send Joe away on a yellow school bus! And I shall be dark, beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! All shall love me and despair! HAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!”
At publishing time, Joe Biden had been invited on a nice paddle-boarding excursion at Barack Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate.